Hope

Zanell and Idrussi

Zanell is a volunteer from South Africa that came and help us home school our children, here is an entry in her journal. I have been in Mozambique now for a month and the things I have seen and experienced is worth a thousand words. I have seen sadness so deep that it crushes the soul; I have seen joy so powerful that it burns out the pain completely. What I have seen is the hardship of a war that has passed and the joy of a new day that has come.
 I have heard stories of people giving up, giving in and giving out. I have heard stories of joy and dreams and love but most of all I have heard stories of hope. Hope for a better day, a better life, a better tomorrow.
I have seen the faces of little children lighting up because you promise them love, I have seen the absolute desperation on the same faces when you take it away.
 I have heard their dreams, seen their hopes and listened to their stories. Today I dream with them, I cry with them and I hope with them, because today I am one of them.
I have gone through this a thousand times in my head, why did God deal the cards this way? Why am I here? Why them and not me? The questions haunt you in the long hot summer nights, nights where the only thing you hear is your own thoughts, fears and dreams. Seeing these kids, holding them, loving them and truly being one of them has taught me one thing: to believe as children do. No questions, no answers, just the absolute amazing faith of a little girl or boy that has been thrown away and left to die but got up and still believes in a higher power that will save them.
Every day I get up and look at this wonderful world around me and feel so welcome here. Here in this place of poverty and hardship and above all spiritual war fare I feel the most at home and at peace that I have felt in a long time. Here where there is no warm water, no tarred road, no shopping centre around the corner, where there is electricity blackouts, and mosquitoes, I have found my peace and my joy. Words cannot describe what I am going through because if I am being honest I cannot understand it yet. Looking back I cannot think that I have been anywhere but here and looking forward I cannot imagine leaving.

My dreams and my hopes have changed completely it is difficult to understand that in a month I have become a completely different me but at the same time the me that I was destined to be. I have found my calling and I have seen my future through the eyes of children. Today in this place I am letting go of the old and embracing the new and how wonderful this feels. I can see a dream and I can feel the change.